![]() ![]() Then one day in 1910, an hombre named Francisco Madero decided he was going to incite a revolution in Mexico and overthrow über-corrupt Presidente-por-Vida Porfirio Diaz. Over time the banditos elected Villa their leader, and thanks to his "rob from the rich and give to the poor" policies and his totally sweet moustache was viewed as a hero among the underprivileged peoples of Northern Mexico. This group of desperados rode around the countryside robbing wealthy haciendados, attempting to break the power of the oligarchy, and having crazy Robin Hood-style adventures. He kissed his family goodbye, grabbed two bandoliers of rifle ammunition, got on his horse and rode off to hide in the Sierra Madre mountain range where he joined up with a gang of awesome sombrero-wearing banditos who were sick and tired of being oppressed by The Man. Needless to say, after this incident took place Villa needed to get the fuck out of town in a hurry. Villa punched the dude in the mouth, kneed him in the balls, pulled out his revolver and shot the rat bastard right in his stupid face. Then one day he came home from work to find the owner of the hacienda in the process of trying to rape his twelve year-old sister. He didn't grow up with grand, idealistic plans of bringing freedom to the oppressed and righting the wrongs that were being done to his people. Anybody who had a problem with that got stuffed face-first down the garbage disposal.Īs a young man Pancho Villa didn't set out to change the entire economic and social structure of Mexico. ![]() ![]() They climbed to the top on the backs of the poor, kicked puppies, ate babies, crapped in gold-plated toilets and did whatever they wanted to whomever they wanted at all times. All of the power was consolidated into the hands of a bunch of super-wealthy asshole haciendados who lived in these insanely huge houses and made millions of Pesos off what was essentially the slave labor of their employees. You see, back in the early 20th century shit in Mexico was really fucked up. When he was only fifteen years old his father died and he went to work as a sharecropper on the plantation, picking strawberries and shit for like two cents and hour and leading the miserable life of an underprivileged menial laborer who barely had enough cash to feed his hungry family. The notorious outlaw who would come to be known as Pancho Villa was born in 1878 in a tiny rural Mexican town to dirt-poor parents indentured on an enormous hacienda owned by some rich jerk. ![]()
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